Greetings everyone I know this is not really bobsled related but a lot of you inquire about what I do in downtime and the truth is my mind tends to wander and think up stories, plays, skits you know the usual. So below is a skit I thought up this summer and sent in to Saturday Night Live but never heard anything back so I figured I will let you all take a look at it and I hope it makes you laugh! Becasuse I laughed! lol Enjoy!
A Skit By Jesse Beckom III with input from Jimmy Moody and Pat Judge:
Twilight Spoof-Edward Stars on Dateline to catch a Predator
Edward arrives at Bella’s house but notices something is different so he enters slowly he smells something in the air unlike anything he has known. He sees a shadowy figure.
Lights come on and its Chris Hansen standing there arms folded looking at Edward with judgmental eyes
Chris: Hello sir how are you tonight?
Edward: (While trying to hide his six pack of beer, box of condoms, and feather duster) Uhm…Who are you, why are you here and where is Bella?
Chris: Well why don’t you have a seat in that chair?
Edward: No I don’t want to sit (Chris’s voice somehow compels Edward towards the chair against his will)
Chris: Please sir just have a seat in that chair right there.
Edward: Well ok but I was just, I mean, ok I will just sit down. (The whole time Edward does not want to sit down but he can’t resist Chris’s persuasiveness)
Chris: My name is Chris Hansen sir and who are you?
Edward: Edward Cullen but where is Bella?
Chris: Oh….(said sarcastically) you are looking for Bella?
Edward: (Begins to feel a lil uncomfortable he starts to lie) Uhhhh Yeah I came over cause we are suppose to study together.
Chris: Really? study? You just came to study Edward….ok. (Chris nods his head in slight disbelief of Edwards story)
Edward: Yeah we have Biology class together. Is there something wrong with that?
Chris: Well Edward there’s really no reason to get upset (Chris mumbles under his voice “Pervert”)
Edward: What!?
Chris: (Having a slight smirk on his face) Oh nothing something was in my throat (Chris mumbles “Sicko”)
Edward: Come On! (Edward is getting irritated has hand up looking around as if to say did anyone else here that?).
Chris: (While smiling) And as you probably guessed by now Bella is here but she is safe so Just relax (and conveniently pulls the cross he has being wearing out from under his collared shirt so Edward to see) there’s nothing to get mad about, plus we are here to talk about you not Bella!
Edward: what’s with the cross
Chris: Oh nothing you know I’m catholic why does it bother you? (Chris inner monologue: oh yeah vamp weirdo you don’t like it and I know it! Let it burn demon boy…man that Usher is really good. He begins to bob his head a lil as he sings the song in his head. Then immediately goes straight face and stairs back at Edward) now where were we, oh yes biology class.
Edward: (Edward is disturbed and confused)Yes biology we are in high school together
Chris: You say you are here to study yet you have no books, paper, or study guide but you have beer? How exactly do you study where you come from Edward!?
Edward: (Edwards eyes dash around the room frantically looking for a excuse) Oh uhm no, no see it’s not like that the beer was for her father yeah..her father cause um he likes beer so I got it from him….yeah I got it for him.
(A member of the camera crew scream from the background You Lie!)
Edward: (Looks toward the camera obviously upset trying to play innocent motions whit his mouth what)
Chris: (pulls out the transcript of e-mails sent back and forth from Bella and Edward) Let me ask you another question Edward?
Edward: ok sure
Chris: Your screen name is…., and correct me if I say this wrong Sweetdaddyfang1! Is that correct?
Edward: w…w….well
Chris: (In an accusing and sarcastic voice) You are Sweetdaddyfang1 correct, that is the name you go by on line? you’re the sweet fang daddy! That’s cool right!? The kids Like that its catchy its hip? (Chris does a slight strut and should swag while saying this)
Edward: Well I guess you can say that…I mean it’s just a screen name…it’s more like a joke than anything.
Chris: Mmm…hmmm… I see, so if I said Hell I am Chris Sugar Nuts Hansen that would not be weird to you? Because as you say it’s just a name right?
Edward: (hesitantly and unsure) Yeah sure
Chris: Well Sweetdaddyfang1, looking at the notes from your online chat with Bella you..(Edward buts in)
Edward: (Nervous concern) Notes did you say notes?
Chris: Yeah this piece of paper that I am holding is your entire online conversation with Bella, and I have to tell you it’s pretty interesting.
Edward: Gulps!
Chris: Did you type I want to suck you dry like a Capri sun juice packet? You did type that correct, those are your words right?
Edward: Listen I know it sounds bad but that’s really not how I meant it, I was not meaning her I…(Chris cuts in)
Chris: Not bad you say, really? Ok then I will read more.
Chris: You go further on to say that you want to open her up like a new book and thumb through your pages. I can continue if you like? You go on to talk about a feather duster, a turkey baister, a hamster, and two poodles! (Chris pulls the paper down looking at Edward in rebuke) You are really sick, I mean I have met some sick people but yeah you are a piece of work I tell you.
Edward: No…No…Stop please stop reading ok I did not come here to study ok are you happy!
Chris: (making a hand gesture) yeah mmmm a lil bit!
Chris: Now we all know you did not come here for studying but are you aware that Bella is only 16? Which is considered a minor in the state of Washington?
Edward: Yeah but it’s ok cause I am a minor as well I am only 17! (Crap I knew we should have moved to Utah or Germany, at least I know 16 is legal there Mua hahaha)
Chris: (Looking at Edward intently and in disbelief) You’re 17!?
Chris: Ohhhh….you’re 17! Ohh?
Edward: Yes I am 17, just look at me I’m still in high school, !
Chris: That’s your final answer you’re 17 (Music from who wants to be a millionaire plays briefely)
Chris: (Mumbles) What a D-Bag.
Edward: Ok really!?...Really!? I heard that and you are starting to piss me off!
Chris: (pulling out a shaker of garlic and setting it on the table nonchalantly keeping a straight face and continuing with the conversation) Hey Buddy, Hey Buddy it’s ok Fangdaddy just relax I am not here to hurt you. Just trying to find out the facts.
Edward: (Starting to look for a way out but not willing to let on he is a Vampire casually) what’s with the garlic?
Chris: Oh nothing, nothing at all I was just cooking a pizza (pizza buzzer goes off at that moment, Chris stops talking to grab the pizza out the oven cuts it applies a ton of garlic) Fangdaddy do you want a slice? (Not waiting for the answer) No oh ok, figured I would ask. (Chris eats a slice of pizza shaking his head up/down/sideways) this is some good Za! (small smirk)
Edward: (says nothing just sits there visibly pissed shaking his head)
Chris: Pizza make you angry or something Fangdaddy
Edward: My name is Edward not Fangdaddy can you please stop calling me that
Chris: Ok so Fangdaddy…I mean Pedo… I meant Edward sorry was going to say Edward, I am so thirsty are you thirst? Want some water? (Chris then reaches in the refrigerator and grabs a bottle of Spring Holy Water gestures out a bottle towards Edward)
Chris: Ok Edward, now you claim to be 17 but according to Wikipedia it says you are 117!? How does that work for ya?!
Edward: (trying to explain and back track) well what had happen was, It’s like…(Chris cuts him off)
Chris: Exactly how long have you been a in high school? Is geometry really that hard these days?
Edward: (Breaking down a lil) ok listen, I may have repeated my junior year once ok it happens and I am not the only one!
Chris: (mumbles) yeah you and your whole dumb blood sucking family!
Edward: WHAT! Now I know I heard that!
Chris: Whaaaat, Oh I said I can’t wait to duck out of here to go sailing! Sail…ing. Speaking of sailing.
Edward: What, sailing? What?
Chris: I’m talking about sailing; you know a boat some water? Now, as I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted! (Stares condescendingly at Edward) The oddest thing happened though last time I was sailing and a piece of the mass broke off in a weird shape, oh here take a look at it (Chris pulls out the piece of the mass from a kitchen drawer which resembles a wooden stake, he begins to twirling it and doing a stabbing and hammering motion) I was trying to hammer it back in but it just would not go. You would not know an old fashion way to get this piece back in there so it never ever comes out do you?!
Edward: No I would not..why would I? What is wrong with you!
Chris: (Looses his cool) What’s wrong with me!? You are asking What’s wrong with me!? Listen Here R-Kelly Dracula is my here boy we know exactly who you are and what you are and frankly I don’t like any of it! You’re 117 years old and you are trying to date a 16yr old! And you ask what’ wrong with me!? What’s wrong with you!? What do the women at the bars don’t go for your boy band charms!?
Edward: No no that’s not it all its..I like... (Chris interrupts)
Chris: Hell I like marshmallows in my Hot chocolate but do you see me going over to the Stay Puff marshmallows Man house asking for his teenage daughter Stacy and asking her to jump in cup so I can stir her around till she melts and drink my Hot Chocolate….!
Edward: (trying to interrupt) What?
Chris: (Keeps on talking right through Edward’s comment) Do You!? Do you!? No you don’t I drink my hot chocolate plain! It’s called self control you should have some it tastes good! mmmmm sooo good!
Edward: (Finally starting to cry and break down)Ok…ok you are right I do prey on silly teenage girls but its only cause their blood is so young and sweet, plus older women make fun of how never stand like a man! They ask me if Horatio from CSI is my dad cause I always stand sideways! They make fun of me for not being tan and they call me Casper the Lonely ghost and they never want to go out with me….what’s wrong with me! I mean I look like diamonds and I thought girls liked that! And yeah so what I like to suck a lil blood that they are not going to miss much right!? Right!?
Chris: ohhhh buddy I would love to stake you putting you out your misery, taking you off the street but you know what that’s out of my authority, as much as I would really… really love to! So you are free to go!
Edward: (sobbing leaning over with his head in his hands) really I am free to walk out of here?
Chris: (Smirking) yeah sure you are free to go
Edward: (sniffling walking out hanging his head) thank you and by the way garlic, crosses, and holy water don’t really work on us. And the sun just shows our skin to be diamonds.
Chris: Diamonds….did you say Diamonds?
Edward: yeah diamonds!
Chris: (looking sinister) Really…..?
Screen fades to black and then fades back in.
Bella: (walks in the room)Hey Chris have you seen Edward?
Chris: (There is a sledge hammer on the table and Chris is using his arms and hands to scrape a pile of diamonds off the table in too a bag, looking extremely guilty) Edward? Naw…. No Edward here, haven’t seen him all day!
Screen fades to the next scene previewing the next week’s episode of To Catch a Predator. At that point you see the actual Predator walks into the house looking for lil Danny (a.k.a Danny Glover) Calling his name in the creepy predator voice. He sees Chris.
Chris: Hello sir, please have a seat
Predator: (Looks around knowing he is caught) Oh bleep! Uhm I am in the wrong house (presses his cloaking device turning invisible and walking backwards out of the room)
Show fades to Black.
This has been a Jesse Beckom
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
November updat in December cont.
Yo! Yo! YO! Everyone Happy weekday all around!
I pray that everyone had a great Christmas and that your New Years Celebration will be Historic but safe!
As I continue to play catch up I realized that I forgot to tell you all about Thanksgiving. After the America Cup Races in Calgary we drove back down to Park City for Thanksgiving. I regret that I can not tell you about the conversations in the 14hr car ride from Calgary to Park City but it was five Manly Men in a extended cab Suburban talking so I am pretty sure you can imagine how the convo went. However we did hook up my computer to the power outlet and played movies most of the time, which mad the trip seem a lot shorter.
The original plan for coming back down to Park City was to get additional training on the track out there while waiting for World Cup to begin in Calgary a week later. Unfortunately for some odd reason there was only paid training available even for USA athletes, not really wanting pay to play we opted to only workout that week. I used it as a prep week for the World Cup Race in Calgary the following week. In my opinion this actually worked out better since it allowed me to give my body a little more rest.
Being that it was Thanksgiving week the girls on the team thought it would be a good ideal to have team Thanksgiving Dinner. They also decided to have at the Condo we were staying at as opposed to their smaller hotel rooms. They then decided that they would cook the turkey along with the majority of the other food. Yeah our girls are pretty decisive, nothing wrong with that because everyone loves a go getter!!! And easy there people! Yes the guys cooked some stuff we made Mixed Greens, Rolls, green bean casserole, and we brought the egg nog and wine as well. Overall the spread was pretty good, surprisingly to us the girls well actually Elana did a great Job on cooking the turkey. Megan's Mom sent a ton of Thanksgiving Day decorations up from Atlanta. The decorations included lil cartoon Indian/pilgrim cut outs, turkey cut outs, turkey designed candles, turkey napkins, Turkey and pumpkin confetti, it was pretty Epic!!! The pictures will be up posted on my web page www.jessebeckom3.com on my media page.
Megan's mom also sent us an 10 boxes of crayon with a turkey picture we could color. I am not sure if it was the wine that made the ideal of coloring a turkey fun or not, well actually I was not drinking so I have no excuse! lol Now like most things coloring the turkey becomes a contest to see who has the best turkey!! Ridiculous I know but everything is a competition. After dinner you have about 10 bobsledders men and women combined sitting here feverishly coloring a turkey picture. We are all sitting there joking and chatting and most people are coloring the clothes on their turkey a solid color so I say out loud just as clear as day that I am going to color my turkey clothes ti-dye! Now everyone at the table heard me and wouldn't you know it that the Camron the guy sitting next to me starts to color the clothes on his turkey ti-dye! I was thinking "Is Jesse Beckom going to have to choke somebody" now this guys lies about every little thing in the world and re-tales stories that he was never a part of then inserting himself into the story! These reasons made me more annoyed than normal with the situation. So I question him on his choice of colors for his turkey's clothes and he says "well I just decided to do something different" and I respond "You did not just hear me say that I was going to do that?" he says "No" I respond "Really Dawg!? Really!? I mean you are sitting right next to me when I said it, everyone else heard me and you did not!?" he replies "No I was talking to someone else and not paying attention when you were talking!" I told him "Well your sub conscious must have been listening because you are coloring you turkey the way I said I was going to color mine!" Yes, Yes I know I am 33yrs old, and this should not be a big deal but at this point its just the principal that I have been listening to this guy tell lie after lie for the past two months and I am fed up with it! By this time my teammates are laughing at us both because they know how much this guy lies and they see me getting visibly pissed! lol The banter continues until we are done coloring. We are lining up the pictures side by side to compare then all of a sudden the picture that Camron colored strangely spontaneously combusted!!!! Yeah I know it was so strange, we were all surprised!! And spontaneously combust I mean I may or may not have held it over the stove, lit it on fire, let it burn till only half the body and head was left. Then I may or may not have written " I WILL NOT STEAL IDEALS" in the top corner of the picture! lol By this time everyone is dying laughing and looking in disbelief!! Some may say I over reacted I say I REALLY DON'T CARE ITS ABOUT PRINCIPAL!! I KEEPS IT REAL!!! LOL
And that was Thanksgiving!!! I can't wait for New Years!
God Bless
Jesse
I pray that everyone had a great Christmas and that your New Years Celebration will be Historic but safe!
As I continue to play catch up I realized that I forgot to tell you all about Thanksgiving. After the America Cup Races in Calgary we drove back down to Park City for Thanksgiving. I regret that I can not tell you about the conversations in the 14hr car ride from Calgary to Park City but it was five Manly Men in a extended cab Suburban talking so I am pretty sure you can imagine how the convo went. However we did hook up my computer to the power outlet and played movies most of the time, which mad the trip seem a lot shorter.
The original plan for coming back down to Park City was to get additional training on the track out there while waiting for World Cup to begin in Calgary a week later. Unfortunately for some odd reason there was only paid training available even for USA athletes, not really wanting pay to play we opted to only workout that week. I used it as a prep week for the World Cup Race in Calgary the following week. In my opinion this actually worked out better since it allowed me to give my body a little more rest.
Being that it was Thanksgiving week the girls on the team thought it would be a good ideal to have team Thanksgiving Dinner. They also decided to have at the Condo we were staying at as opposed to their smaller hotel rooms. They then decided that they would cook the turkey along with the majority of the other food. Yeah our girls are pretty decisive, nothing wrong with that because everyone loves a go getter!!! And easy there people! Yes the guys cooked some stuff we made Mixed Greens, Rolls, green bean casserole, and we brought the egg nog and wine as well. Overall the spread was pretty good, surprisingly to us the girls well actually Elana did a great Job on cooking the turkey. Megan's Mom sent a ton of Thanksgiving Day decorations up from Atlanta. The decorations included lil cartoon Indian/pilgrim cut outs, turkey cut outs, turkey designed candles, turkey napkins, Turkey and pumpkin confetti, it was pretty Epic!!! The pictures will be up posted on my web page www.jessebeckom3.com on my media page.
Megan's mom also sent us an 10 boxes of crayon with a turkey picture we could color. I am not sure if it was the wine that made the ideal of coloring a turkey fun or not, well actually I was not drinking so I have no excuse! lol Now like most things coloring the turkey becomes a contest to see who has the best turkey!! Ridiculous I know but everything is a competition. After dinner you have about 10 bobsledders men and women combined sitting here feverishly coloring a turkey picture. We are all sitting there joking and chatting and most people are coloring the clothes on their turkey a solid color so I say out loud just as clear as day that I am going to color my turkey clothes ti-dye! Now everyone at the table heard me and wouldn't you know it that the Camron the guy sitting next to me starts to color the clothes on his turkey ti-dye! I was thinking "Is Jesse Beckom going to have to choke somebody" now this guys lies about every little thing in the world and re-tales stories that he was never a part of then inserting himself into the story! These reasons made me more annoyed than normal with the situation. So I question him on his choice of colors for his turkey's clothes and he says "well I just decided to do something different" and I respond "You did not just hear me say that I was going to do that?" he says "No" I respond "Really Dawg!? Really!? I mean you are sitting right next to me when I said it, everyone else heard me and you did not!?" he replies "No I was talking to someone else and not paying attention when you were talking!" I told him "Well your sub conscious must have been listening because you are coloring you turkey the way I said I was going to color mine!" Yes, Yes I know I am 33yrs old, and this should not be a big deal but at this point its just the principal that I have been listening to this guy tell lie after lie for the past two months and I am fed up with it! By this time my teammates are laughing at us both because they know how much this guy lies and they see me getting visibly pissed! lol The banter continues until we are done coloring. We are lining up the pictures side by side to compare then all of a sudden the picture that Camron colored strangely spontaneously combusted!!!! Yeah I know it was so strange, we were all surprised!! And spontaneously combust I mean I may or may not have held it over the stove, lit it on fire, let it burn till only half the body and head was left. Then I may or may not have written " I WILL NOT STEAL IDEALS" in the top corner of the picture! lol By this time everyone is dying laughing and looking in disbelief!! Some may say I over reacted I say I REALLY DON'T CARE ITS ABOUT PRINCIPAL!! I KEEPS IT REAL!!! LOL
And that was Thanksgiving!!! I can't wait for New Years!
God Bless
Jesse
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
November Update in December
Hey Everyone sorry I am behind on my updates so I will try to catch you all up with several e-mails here is the first I starte in Canada last week.
Greetings from the northern wilderness they call Canada or as we like to call it North North America, or America Lite, or Diet America, or The Un America.....yeah our Canadian counterparts for some reason do not like any of those new names. They also really don't like it when we tell them if we wanted we could invade and take control over their little country over the weekend and still be back home to watch Sunday football!! lol
I am done racing with my former teammate and ex-brakeman Corey and now racing on the World Cup Tour with John Napier. The races with Corey went good we had a Little trouble in Park City where we finished in 7th place twice but we ended the races in Calgary on the Podium in Bronze Medal Position. It was a great time and Corey is improving rapidly so hopefully he will be driving World Cup by next year.
As of now the plan is to race World Cup Races here in Calgary Canada, Park City, UT; and finishing up in Lake Placid before Christmas. Sliding has been going well and I am looking forward to some great results. However I do have a few interesting stories to tell you all about so here it goes.
To refresh everyone memories about two years ago I went through a 4 month ordeal with an HP laptop I purchased that was having problems due to a faulty hard drive. In the long run I wound up sending the computer in to HP 3 times for them to replace it and every time they replaced it the hard drive was bad. After arguing for 4 months my I finally lost it over the phone and they ended up sending me a new computer with all the bells and whistles. But guess what?....Yup 1yr and 10 months later the new HP they sent me began experiencing problems. It started performing random memory dumps, freezing up, not playing media files correctly and etc. At this point I am about a good minute from just throwing this stupid machine against the wall or taking it out to a field like in the movie Office Space to introduce it to my Baseball Bat or better yet the bottom of my boot!
Two weeks ago Monday I finally had time to take it over to Best Buy's self-proclaimed Geek Squad (Bad Ideal), Ok, so I tell them the issues occurring with my computer and that I had downloaded some codecs for my media player to see if that would get the movies to play correctly. I informed them that when I ran the internal diagnostic to test the system and hard drive that the computer froze up without completing the full test. The guy there said they will have a look at it and it should only take about twenty minutes (lets be honest waiting twenty minutes in best buy for a guy is not long enough!lol). I agree to having them look at my computer,signing the paperwork for to the $69.99 Diagnostic fee the Bleak Squad charges hoping by some form of nerd magic they are going to perform some epic test beyond my understanding that will say what wrong with my computer. You know this dude runs the same internal diagnostic that I ran at home and I am looking like you got to be kidding me right now!! I come back twenty minutes later and he explains me that their are no malicious worms or viruses on my computer that is causing the problem and that they need to keep it over night to run some stress test on it, I agree and leave the store.
I come back the next day to pick up the computer and now a different member of the Bleak Squad comes out hands me my computer and tells me that I need to purchase a new hard drive. I say ok thanks and I will buy one later. However because I was in a hurry I did not turn my computer on in the store (Not Smart on my part). Immediately when I get back to the condo I attempt to start it and of course it would not even boot up! The screen did not even come on at all! I immediately take it back to the store and give the computer back to them and politely ask what happened during your test that caused my computer to not run or even attempt to start? She tells me well your hard drive is completely bad. I explain to her that I understand that but my computer screen should still come on and at least give an error message or something, but now the screen is not working and the hard drive is not even starting. She then returns a blank stare at me, you know the stare where someone has screwed up but don't want to admit it. With no other option at the moment I purchase a new hard drive from the store for them to install (in the back of my mind I am just thinking I know its not the hard drive because that would not affect my screen). Tjhe biggest thing about replacing a hard drive is that you have to transfer all your data over and re-install all your programs, in my case all my program disk are in Colorado Springs at the Olympic Training Center so I am really not happy about the thought of this. The woman there tells me that she found 250GB of recoverable info on my old hard drive that she can transfer over and she should be able to Ghost my programs onto the new hard drive as well, so I am happy as a pig in mud and leave the store and await the phone call letting me know my computer is ready. Yeah.....she never called me, so I call back to the store later that night and end up speaking to the original guy I dropped my computer off to, he informs me that Patricia was not able to transfer the files over because my original hard drive was unrecoverable. I inform him that I believe she may have done something wrong and asked if he could take a look at my computer. He calls back 20 minutes later to tell me that yeah she had in fact hooked the hard drive up incorrectly and the information is recoverable. I am thinking great, then he thinks something is wrong with my media card which is causing my screen not to come on but he will look at it more tomorrow because they are about to close, and that I should come by the store in the afternoon.
The next afternoon I go to the Worst Buy to speak with the Bleak Squad and guess who's there.....Miss I Hook Up Hard Drives wrong! Sooooooo now they tell me well sir your motherboard is gone bad! I am like what!!! (Fyi Cool Calm Jesse has left the building at this point!) I then ask ok well my computer was working a lot better when I brought it in to you and now its not coming on at all so you all need to find away to fix it. The lady is just looking at me like she does not know what to say, I then ask to speak with the manager so they call him up to the front of the store. The manager arrives he walks to the back and is informed of the situation he then comes out and says they can not do anything about my compute! I say really you mean to tell me that you break my computer and now you can not fix it or replace it!? At this point I ask you are the store manager correct? He replies yes I am the manager on duty, I say see, that's not what I asked you, I asked are you the Store Manager, meaning are you in Charge of the Store? He says well I am the operational manager, I say ok so what time time does the Store Manager come in because that's who I need to talk to. He informs me that the Store Manager comes in at 3:30. I tell him ok I will be back at 3:30, he then tries to give me back my computer and I say no thanks you guys can hold on to that until I get back.
While waiting three hours for the manager to come I decide to call my sister Tina for some advice a.k.a calm me down a bit before I go back over to this store. My sister tells me to just relax and be civil and explain the situation and see what he says. I am like ok I will try it but I will make no promises and I will call her when I am done. She jokingly says "Don't make me your One phone call" lol
I go back over to the store at 3:30, by now everyone at the front of the store knows the situation and I can see it in there eyes and they can see I am not happy! The people at the Bleak Squad call up the manager soon as I walk in. He goes to the back to speak with them. Now I hear my sister's voice in the back of my head and I am listening. However, when I came into the store I head my USA full winter coat on so me being who I am and knowing I had a short sleeve shirt on under it I decide to take it off so this manager could get the full grasp of who he is talking too! (Yup today I am that guy!) Now I would not really hurt this manager in anyway but if he is a little intimidated by the frustration in my voice, my physique muscle in my arms flexing as I talk to him or the glare in my eyes then hey it happens. lol
So the manager comes out and he informs me that he is aware of the situation but I take time to explain it to him again. And when I explain it to him I am in full Chicago Mode!! I am fully using all types of hand gestures, hitting my hands together on occasion to explain things I mean this conversation is epic! lol I tell him how would you feel in your brought your car to a dealer ship to have the muffler repaired then you come back and they tell you, uhm while we were working on the car your engine fell out some how but it's not our fault. I go on to tell him that all my information for college and bobsled races is on that machine your guys broke and now you expect me to just leave without my computer and an inaccessible hard drive!? I don't think so (For the record I do have all the information backed up on an external drive but they do not need to know that :-) ). The whole time I am talking the Manager is looking at my build and has that "What is this guy going to do to me look on his face" and I am loving every minute of it. He then tries to point out that I signed a wavier that says they are not responsible if something breaks while they are working on it. I then point out a section on another one of their documents that says that they will fix free of charge any problems that may occur from them working on my computer (he was a bit speechless on that one). He tells me that he understand the situation and its bad on both sides. So I say listen if you all can not fix my computer that your technicians manage to break maybe you can give me a new one. Now I know he is not going to agree do giving me a new computer but he does end up discounting an $800 Asus Computer that was better than my HP down to $400 dollars, and they transfer all my data over for me and I should come back on Friday to pick the computer up. Oh and I forgot to mention this is all happening on the week of black Friday.
Now its Wednesday and I come to pick up my computer and its not ready. The tell me that its taking longer than they thought it would to transfer all the information over, but now they will try something different to speed up the process and It should be ready by Friday. The only thing I can think of is why did you all not do the faster method in the first place. I return to the store on Friday and Yup you guessed it they are still not done. This is the point where Calm Jesse leaves again and I explain that I leave out of the country on Sunday and I need my computer ASAP! They promise me that it will be ready by 11am on Saturday. On Saturday I call in at 9:30 to check on the computer and they said it was ready for me to pick up! lol
I arrive at the store at 10 am, they boot up the new computer to show me that everything is working and that all of my data is in place. Then they hand me my old laptop back as I requested since I think someone smarter can still fix it. But when they give it back to me my power cord is nowhere to be found. I ask excuse me but where is my power cord that I gave you all? The Bleak Squad member ask me "You sure you gave it to us?" I responded yes I left it here because what on earth could I do with a power cord and no computer!? He then goes to the back comes out and says sorry we can not find it. I say well you all need to replace it because I gave it to you. At this time the Store Manager comes up to make sure everything was being taken care of, which it was not. The manager then says well there is no place for it to be in the back its a pretty clean area. I tell him that's all good and fine but the fact is that I gave you a working computer and you manage to break it causing me to purchase a new one and now you all loose a piece of equipment to that same laptop! He asked me what do I need it for anyway since my motherboard is broke, I told him because its mine and I am going to leave with everything I brought into you all! He replies "Hey we did you a favor with this computer and transferring your information over...I stopped him mid sentence a and channeled my inner Allen Iverson and Said "Favor! Favor! you did me a Favor!....how exactly by replacing a computer your technicians broke and putting my information back on my computer if anything that is professional courtesy I started to continue but I was getting so mad I had to stop. Also by this time he was marking down a new computer cord to 0 to give to me. lol
So as you can see I had a great experience with acquiring a new laptop :-)!! Well stay tuned for an update to my Calgary adventures!
P.S.
here is the link to where you can watch the bobsled races on-line http://www.universalsports.com/bobsled/index.html but it is delayed playback.
God Bless you all
Jesse
www.jessebeckom3.com
Greetings from the northern wilderness they call Canada or as we like to call it North North America, or America Lite, or Diet America, or The Un America.....yeah our Canadian counterparts for some reason do not like any of those new names. They also really don't like it when we tell them if we wanted we could invade and take control over their little country over the weekend and still be back home to watch Sunday football!! lol
I am done racing with my former teammate and ex-brakeman Corey and now racing on the World Cup Tour with John Napier. The races with Corey went good we had a Little trouble in Park City where we finished in 7th place twice but we ended the races in Calgary on the Podium in Bronze Medal Position. It was a great time and Corey is improving rapidly so hopefully he will be driving World Cup by next year.
As of now the plan is to race World Cup Races here in Calgary Canada, Park City, UT; and finishing up in Lake Placid before Christmas. Sliding has been going well and I am looking forward to some great results. However I do have a few interesting stories to tell you all about so here it goes.
To refresh everyone memories about two years ago I went through a 4 month ordeal with an HP laptop I purchased that was having problems due to a faulty hard drive. In the long run I wound up sending the computer in to HP 3 times for them to replace it and every time they replaced it the hard drive was bad. After arguing for 4 months my I finally lost it over the phone and they ended up sending me a new computer with all the bells and whistles. But guess what?....Yup 1yr and 10 months later the new HP they sent me began experiencing problems. It started performing random memory dumps, freezing up, not playing media files correctly and etc. At this point I am about a good minute from just throwing this stupid machine against the wall or taking it out to a field like in the movie Office Space to introduce it to my Baseball Bat or better yet the bottom of my boot!
Two weeks ago Monday I finally had time to take it over to Best Buy's self-proclaimed Geek Squad (Bad Ideal), Ok, so I tell them the issues occurring with my computer and that I had downloaded some codecs for my media player to see if that would get the movies to play correctly. I informed them that when I ran the internal diagnostic to test the system and hard drive that the computer froze up without completing the full test. The guy there said they will have a look at it and it should only take about twenty minutes (lets be honest waiting twenty minutes in best buy for a guy is not long enough!lol). I agree to having them look at my computer,signing the paperwork for to the $69.99 Diagnostic fee the Bleak Squad charges hoping by some form of nerd magic they are going to perform some epic test beyond my understanding that will say what wrong with my computer. You know this dude runs the same internal diagnostic that I ran at home and I am looking like you got to be kidding me right now!! I come back twenty minutes later and he explains me that their are no malicious worms or viruses on my computer that is causing the problem and that they need to keep it over night to run some stress test on it, I agree and leave the store.
I come back the next day to pick up the computer and now a different member of the Bleak Squad comes out hands me my computer and tells me that I need to purchase a new hard drive. I say ok thanks and I will buy one later. However because I was in a hurry I did not turn my computer on in the store (Not Smart on my part). Immediately when I get back to the condo I attempt to start it and of course it would not even boot up! The screen did not even come on at all! I immediately take it back to the store and give the computer back to them and politely ask what happened during your test that caused my computer to not run or even attempt to start? She tells me well your hard drive is completely bad. I explain to her that I understand that but my computer screen should still come on and at least give an error message or something, but now the screen is not working and the hard drive is not even starting. She then returns a blank stare at me, you know the stare where someone has screwed up but don't want to admit it. With no other option at the moment I purchase a new hard drive from the store for them to install (in the back of my mind I am just thinking I know its not the hard drive because that would not affect my screen). Tjhe biggest thing about replacing a hard drive is that you have to transfer all your data over and re-install all your programs, in my case all my program disk are in Colorado Springs at the Olympic Training Center so I am really not happy about the thought of this. The woman there tells me that she found 250GB of recoverable info on my old hard drive that she can transfer over and she should be able to Ghost my programs onto the new hard drive as well, so I am happy as a pig in mud and leave the store and await the phone call letting me know my computer is ready. Yeah.....she never called me, so I call back to the store later that night and end up speaking to the original guy I dropped my computer off to, he informs me that Patricia was not able to transfer the files over because my original hard drive was unrecoverable. I inform him that I believe she may have done something wrong and asked if he could take a look at my computer. He calls back 20 minutes later to tell me that yeah she had in fact hooked the hard drive up incorrectly and the information is recoverable. I am thinking great, then he thinks something is wrong with my media card which is causing my screen not to come on but he will look at it more tomorrow because they are about to close, and that I should come by the store in the afternoon.
The next afternoon I go to the Worst Buy to speak with the Bleak Squad and guess who's there.....Miss I Hook Up Hard Drives wrong! Sooooooo now they tell me well sir your motherboard is gone bad! I am like what!!! (Fyi Cool Calm Jesse has left the building at this point!) I then ask ok well my computer was working a lot better when I brought it in to you and now its not coming on at all so you all need to find away to fix it. The lady is just looking at me like she does not know what to say, I then ask to speak with the manager so they call him up to the front of the store. The manager arrives he walks to the back and is informed of the situation he then comes out and says they can not do anything about my compute! I say really you mean to tell me that you break my computer and now you can not fix it or replace it!? At this point I ask you are the store manager correct? He replies yes I am the manager on duty, I say see, that's not what I asked you, I asked are you the Store Manager, meaning are you in Charge of the Store? He says well I am the operational manager, I say ok so what time time does the Store Manager come in because that's who I need to talk to. He informs me that the Store Manager comes in at 3:30. I tell him ok I will be back at 3:30, he then tries to give me back my computer and I say no thanks you guys can hold on to that until I get back.
While waiting three hours for the manager to come I decide to call my sister Tina for some advice a.k.a calm me down a bit before I go back over to this store. My sister tells me to just relax and be civil and explain the situation and see what he says. I am like ok I will try it but I will make no promises and I will call her when I am done. She jokingly says "Don't make me your One phone call" lol
I go back over to the store at 3:30, by now everyone at the front of the store knows the situation and I can see it in there eyes and they can see I am not happy! The people at the Bleak Squad call up the manager soon as I walk in. He goes to the back to speak with them. Now I hear my sister's voice in the back of my head and I am listening. However, when I came into the store I head my USA full winter coat on so me being who I am and knowing I had a short sleeve shirt on under it I decide to take it off so this manager could get the full grasp of who he is talking too! (Yup today I am that guy!) Now I would not really hurt this manager in anyway but if he is a little intimidated by the frustration in my voice, my physique muscle in my arms flexing as I talk to him or the glare in my eyes then hey it happens. lol
So the manager comes out and he informs me that he is aware of the situation but I take time to explain it to him again. And when I explain it to him I am in full Chicago Mode!! I am fully using all types of hand gestures, hitting my hands together on occasion to explain things I mean this conversation is epic! lol I tell him how would you feel in your brought your car to a dealer ship to have the muffler repaired then you come back and they tell you, uhm while we were working on the car your engine fell out some how but it's not our fault. I go on to tell him that all my information for college and bobsled races is on that machine your guys broke and now you expect me to just leave without my computer and an inaccessible hard drive!? I don't think so (For the record I do have all the information backed up on an external drive but they do not need to know that :-) ). The whole time I am talking the Manager is looking at my build and has that "What is this guy going to do to me look on his face" and I am loving every minute of it. He then tries to point out that I signed a wavier that says they are not responsible if something breaks while they are working on it. I then point out a section on another one of their documents that says that they will fix free of charge any problems that may occur from them working on my computer (he was a bit speechless on that one). He tells me that he understand the situation and its bad on both sides. So I say listen if you all can not fix my computer that your technicians manage to break maybe you can give me a new one. Now I know he is not going to agree do giving me a new computer but he does end up discounting an $800 Asus Computer that was better than my HP down to $400 dollars, and they transfer all my data over for me and I should come back on Friday to pick the computer up. Oh and I forgot to mention this is all happening on the week of black Friday.
Now its Wednesday and I come to pick up my computer and its not ready. The tell me that its taking longer than they thought it would to transfer all the information over, but now they will try something different to speed up the process and It should be ready by Friday. The only thing I can think of is why did you all not do the faster method in the first place. I return to the store on Friday and Yup you guessed it they are still not done. This is the point where Calm Jesse leaves again and I explain that I leave out of the country on Sunday and I need my computer ASAP! They promise me that it will be ready by 11am on Saturday. On Saturday I call in at 9:30 to check on the computer and they said it was ready for me to pick up! lol
I arrive at the store at 10 am, they boot up the new computer to show me that everything is working and that all of my data is in place. Then they hand me my old laptop back as I requested since I think someone smarter can still fix it. But when they give it back to me my power cord is nowhere to be found. I ask excuse me but where is my power cord that I gave you all? The Bleak Squad member ask me "You sure you gave it to us?" I responded yes I left it here because what on earth could I do with a power cord and no computer!? He then goes to the back comes out and says sorry we can not find it. I say well you all need to replace it because I gave it to you. At this time the Store Manager comes up to make sure everything was being taken care of, which it was not. The manager then says well there is no place for it to be in the back its a pretty clean area. I tell him that's all good and fine but the fact is that I gave you a working computer and you manage to break it causing me to purchase a new one and now you all loose a piece of equipment to that same laptop! He asked me what do I need it for anyway since my motherboard is broke, I told him because its mine and I am going to leave with everything I brought into you all! He replies "Hey we did you a favor with this computer and transferring your information over...I stopped him mid sentence a and channeled my inner Allen Iverson and Said "Favor! Favor! you did me a Favor!....how exactly by replacing a computer your technicians broke and putting my information back on my computer if anything that is professional courtesy I started to continue but I was getting so mad I had to stop. Also by this time he was marking down a new computer cord to 0 to give to me. lol
So as you can see I had a great experience with acquiring a new laptop :-)!! Well stay tuned for an update to my Calgary adventures!
P.S.
here is the link to where you can watch the bobsled races on-line http://www.universalsports.com/bobsled/index.html but it is delayed playback.
God Bless you all
Jesse
www.jessebeckom3.com
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